CELESTE'S ESSENTIAL QUIT-LIT: VOL 1

Books! So Many Books! I have way too many of them (although I often ask myself, how many is too many??) and my collection refuses to stop growing. As of last month, my bookshelf is organised by colour, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me.  We are warned about cross-addiction in recovery, and books are my drug of choice these days.

One section of my book collection that I cherish the most is that of the 'Quit Lit' variety - that is, fiction and non-fiction centred around addiction and recovery. For years leading up to the start of my own recovery, I would devour Quit Lit, somehow hoping to find a solution to my problem somewhere within the pages, desperately reading between the lines for that magic moment of clarity. I turned to these books again and again (and still do) because I relate to the stories in them, and they made me feel that little bit less alone in my own addictions and ongoing recovery journey.

The probably unsurprising news is that absorbing other people's War stories did not miraculously restore me to sanity, but the good news is that learning about other people's experiences of addiction did make me feel less alone. Even though I wasn't ready to take the leap into sobriety at the time, reading books of the Quit Lit variety did allow me to gradually visualise what a sober life might look and feel like, and hence gave me something to work towards.

Now I am in recovery, I have turned back to these same books, and they continue to bring me so much strength and insight into addiction and the importance of maintaining my sobriety - they serve as a stark (even if often humour-laced) warning on where unchecked addiction can take a person.

It doesn't matter where you are in your own journey - in active addiction, working your way towards sobriety, happily sober, miserably sober, recovering from a recent relapse, sober curious, the friend or loved one of someone in addiction or recovery, studying or working in the field of addiction, or perhaps you have a morbid fascination with the topic? (No judgement here, my friends - True Crime is also my bag)
There is much to be learned from these beautiful bundles of paper and ink, and I hope you enjoy these selected titles as much as I do.

THE UNEXPECTED JOY OF BEING SOBER

Catherine Gray

Synopsis

Catherine Gray was stuck in a hellish whirligig of Drink, Make horrible decisions, Hangover, Repeat. She had her share of 'drunk tank' jail cells and topless-in-a-hot-tub misadventures. This book starts with Catherine waking up in a jail cell in Brixton (wouldn't advise) and her drinking life continues to devolve in spectacular fashion. BUT there is hope!  Catherine not only shares her downfall, but also her transcension into sobriety and the joyous life that was always waiting for her.

Celeste's Take

Catherine is so down to earth and avoids being preachy in her writing. She is honest to a fault, and almost anyone reading this book will find some of her story relatable. This an easy to read, accessible book to start with for anyone who hasn't read much of the genre or looking to learn more about their own relationship with alcohol. Suitable for sober people and non-sober people alike.

Quotes

“I didn’t have a drinking problem as such. I was great at drinking! It was the stopping. I had a stopping problem.”

“THEY SAY: ‘CAN’T YOU JUST HAVE ONE?’ Oh, man, I never thought of that! You’re a genius! Just one, you say? Rather than five or six? Thanks, Captain Obvious.”

GLORIOUS ROCK BOTTOM

Bryony Gordon

Synopsis

Bryony Gordon is a respected journalist, a best-selling author and an award-winning mental health campaigner. She is also an alcoholic. Bryony opens up about her 20-year relationship with alcohol and drugs, candidly revealing the impact of her addictions on every part of her life in grisly detail. She is brutally honest about her journey through early recovery, starting with 12 step meetings and painful self-reflection, leading gradually towards a life filled with love, acceptance, friendship and joy.

Celeste's Take

I adore this book. I found myself laughing out loud at the hilarity of some situations, only to find myself tearing up at the inevitable consequences that would follow a paragraph later. Her insight into rehab and the ensuing process of recovery is invaluable and delivered with her endearing wit and humour, and is often just as heart breaking. I would particularly recommend this if you are looking for a good audio-book. Bryony's narration is wonderfully funny, and you can't help but feel a connection with her and her toe curling experiences.

Quotes

"We tell ourselves that alcoholics sit on park benches, with insurmountable problems, that they have lost everything and been driven to drink. And sometimes they are this person: but they are many other types of people, too."

"As I approached the pub I could almost convince myself that all of this was totally normal. Me, a 37-year-old woman walking away from her young family to drink herself into oblivion with a person she barely knew. But but but. Fuck the buts. My mood lifted - it could veer from one extreme to another in the blink of an eye."

 

THE SOBER DIARIES

Claire Pooley

Synopsis

Like many women, Clare Pooley found the juggle of a stressful career and family life a struggle so she left her successful role at of the world's biggest advertising agencies to look after her family, never expecting to find herself an overweight, depressed, middle-aged mother of three who was drinking more than a bottle of wine a day, and spending her evenings Googling 'Am I an alcoholic?' By the end of the year she is booze-free, with a life that is so much richer, healthier and more rewarding than ever before. She has a happier family and a more positive outlook.

Celeste's Take

This book is the bravely honest story of a year in Clare's life - an entertaining, upbeat, funny and positive look at how to live life to the full. Claire's research is impeccable and she asks valuable questions like; How do I know if I'm drinking too much? How will I cope at parties? What do I say to friends and family? How do I cope with cravings? If I stop drinking will I lose weight? What if my partner still drinks? And many more. This was one of the first Quit Lit books I picked up in my addiction, and I have gone back to it time and again to remind myself how far I have come, and how much can change in one year without alcohol. 

Quotes

"...life is accompanied by that feeling. If you’re avoiding anxiety you’re not properly living, I remind myself. Anxiety is a sign that you’re pushing boundaries, moving forward, grabbing the bull by the horns. IT IS GOOD.”

 “That’s the thing about the wine witch. She cuts brilliant lives short, and ensures that others are only half lived. She makes children grow up thinking it is normal for adults to drink all evening, every evening."

 

DRY. A MEMOIR

Augusten Burroughs

Synopsis

Augusten may have a fancy name, but he is largely ordinary - until he has a drink. Where most people would call it a night before midnight, Augusten would often not make it home at all, before having to fight his way through the next day (if he makes it into work at all). His distracting loud ties and cologne breath could only hide so much for so long. At the request of his employees, Augusten ends up in rehab and any preconceived ideas of grandeur and celebrity are dashed by the grim reality of his situation.

Celeste's Take

Rarely have I read a book that has affected me so profoundly. Although Augusten and his experiences may differ from mine in many ways, the dry and witty delivery of his story always makes me wonder how much we have much in common under the surface. The ending never fails to break my heart, but don't worry, Augusten makes it through to tell his story to the end.

Quotes:

“I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.”

“And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.”

 

TWEAK

Nic Sheff

Synopsis

This powerful memoir focuses on Nic's brutal drug (mainly crystal meth) addiction that progressed throughout his early 20s, during which he experienced two serious relapses and attempts to recover and remain clean from drugs. Throughout the narrative, Nic reflects on his troubled youth and his early history with drugs and alcohol. The memoir comprises his recollections of events that transpired over the course of a number of years. Nic narrates his struggles in the present tense, allowing the reader to experience the relapses and recoveries along with him.

Celeste's Take

Nic is a wonderful writer and really enjoy his narrative style. I have read this book countless times to remind myself that no matter what I may have experienced in my addiction, there is always someone who has a worse story to tell. Nic's journey a is relentless and frankly sometimes exhausting cycle of rob, score, get high, rob, score, get high , which is only mercilessly broken when Nic gets caught breaking into his mother's house. What followed was a choice: treatment or jail.

Quotes

“They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. the problem with being human isn't really so temporary.”

“I need everyone to like me and I just burn out bending over backward to make that happen. Having people be mad at me is my worst fear. I can't stand it. There is this crazy fear I have of being rejected by anyone - even people I don't really care about. It's always better to leave them first, cut all ties, and disappear. They can't hurt me that way - no one can.”

 

BEAUTIFUL BOY

David Sheff

Synopsis

Before Nic became addicted to crystal meth, he was a charming boy, a varsity athlete and honours student adored by his two younger siblings. After meth, he was a trembling wraith who lied, stole, and lived on the streets. Nic's long-suffering father, David, delivers a fiercely candid memoir reliving the rollercoaster of loving a child who seems beyond help. David eventually learns to take a step back from the chaos of Nic's addiction, hoping he stays sober, but he no longer centring his entire life around his son’s struggles, a place of at least partial peace where he can finally detach and take things one day at a time. 

Celeste's Take

Last, but most certainly not least, this book breaks my heart every time I pick it up - but it's worth it. As the child of an addict, I can relate to the 3am phone calls, the not knowing if the next call will be the one you have been dreading, the relentless cycle of rehab/relapse and the torture of watching someone you love succumb to the throes of addiction. It goes to show, whether you are a parent, a child, a spouse or a friend, caring for an addict can lead to unhealthy and co-dependant relationships. This is an important book, and is essential reading for anyone who has a loved one in addiction. This is best read after reading 'Tweak', by David's son, Nic. It has also been made into a (sometimes bleak) but beautiful film, starring Steve Carell and Timothée Chalamet.

Quotes

“How can both Nics, the loving and considerate and generous one, and the self-obsessed and self-destructive one, be the same person?”

“Our children live or die with or without us. No matter what we do, no matter how we agonize or obsess, we cannot choose for our children whether they live or die. It is a devastating realization, but also liberating. I finally chose life for myself.”

“Caring about an addict is as complex and fraught and debilitating as addiction itself.”

 

I hope you enjoy my first selection of Quit Lit, and enjoy exploring the genre for yourself! Let me know what gems you find, and why you like them!